theactualdevil:

ah yes i can finally go to school i’ve found an outfit that abides by the school dress code

now no boys will have their educations irreparably damaged by the surely satan-influenced exposure of my shoulders and knees

(via sexting-your-grandma)

idiosyncratic-lavender:

whats in the bag

(via smallgay)

sirseahorse:

stabsinthe:

if gatsby wrote a letter to nick it would be addressed to “old sport” because i firmly believe gatsby doesnt know nicks name

#it’s at that awkward phase where it’s too late to ask him

(via zollgax)

carlsagansbitch:

ok thats cool but in america you can get 100 mcnuggets for $25

(Source: joycemannerism, via thatsmoderatelyraven)

jebiwonkenobi:

When I was little I thought being an adult meant not having a bed time but I’ve come to realize that it just means being in charge of my own bed time and it turns out that I am not equipped to handle that responsibility.

(via areyoutryingtodeduceme)

squareclocks:

kushroom:

so you’re saying I can win 5 iphones every day??? and all I have to do is give my credit card number on this website I’ve never heard about??? well slam me in my tender butthole sir you’ve just got yourself a deal

Slam me in my tender butthole 

I think I’ve just found my new favorite phrase. 

(via keepyourliestoyourself)